Dracula Reborn (2015, Attila Luca)

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An occasional series where I write about works inspired by Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula…

These reviews reveal plot twists.

Setting: The modern day. After a brief sequence in Vancouver, the ‘action’ switches to Paris, then Cluj-Napoca in Romania and the Carpathian Mountains.

Faithful to the novel? Not especially. The world-famous Drakula [sic] cult has been around for a very long time, and is now being blamed for numerous missing-person cases. A disgraced, vampire-obsessed journalist called Hannah (Tina Balthazar) decides to investigate, so travels to Paris and assembles a small team of helpers. Meanwhile, a bald vampire stalks them and starts to kill them. When it comes to finding Dracula’s original castle, the team research in a library and read up on Vlad the Impaler; then a bizarre plot twist leads them to online snuff movies. (Around now, I stopped trying to keep up with what was happening.)

Best performance: Michael Maricondi is relatively watchable as the nerdy Nate. But that’s not saying much.

Best bit: The incidental music’s not too shabby.

Review: Not to be confused with the 2012 film of the same name, this was originally called Dracula XO before a rebranding for the UK DVD release. It is a diabolically dreadful waste of time. I’ve never seen The Room – the 2003 film that’s been called the Citizen Kane of bad movies – but surely this can’t be far off matching its awfulness. The cast are bad enough: a thoroughly rotten collection of actors who can barely speak let alone act. (Most clearly don’t have English as their first language, and sadly put all the emPHAsis on the wrong syllABLE.) But the storytelling – vague, obscure, perfunctory – is even worse. It’s slow, confused and amateurish.

One news report out of 10

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