Red Dwarf III (1989)

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Spoiler warning: these reviews reveal plot twists.

Written by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor. Directed by Ed Bye. Broadcast on BBC2.

Regulars: Lister, Rimmer and the Cat are still in place, though they’ve each had a makeover. Rimmer’s new costumes are very Captain Scarlet-y, for example, while Lister’s developed a love of leather jackets. (The newly hired costume designer was Howard Burden, who worked on Doctor Who between 2012 and 2014.) Elsewhere, Holly has been recast. Norman Lovett was bored of commuting from his home in Edinburgh to rehearsals in London and studio days in Manchester. So replacing him is Hattie Hayridge, who’d played the female Holly in series two. The change of gender is explained during the comically fast-scrolling on-screen text at the start of episode one. Also explained in that copy is the fact that Kryten, a guest character in series two, has joined the regular team. Original actor David Ross wasn’t available, so Robert Llewellyn is now under the mask. He uses a strange, kinda-Canadian accent for some reason, but he’s very funny when given stuff to play.

Episode 1: Backwards (14 November 1989): A terrific start. Rimmer and Kryten fly their shuttle through a ‘time hole’ and end up on a version of Earth where time is running in reverse… Great comedy is mined from footage being played backwards (or actors pretending it is). A woman regurgitates an éclair, people ride a tandem the wrong way, a big bar brawl sees tables ‘unsmashed’ and Lister thrown through a broken window that then reassembles… In truth, a lot of these jokes don’t stand up to logical scrutiny. But it’s all very entertaining.
Observations: The Star Wars-spoofing caption at the beginning tells us that the twin boys Lister was pregnant with at the end of series two have been returned to their original universe. The gang’s new type of shuttle – the green, globular Starbug – makes its debut. This episode features the first Red Dwarf scenes set on a recognisable and real Earth. Writer Rob Grant cameos as a man smoking a cigarette. Tony Hawks has another Red Dwarf role: he’s the compère at the pub in the backwards world.
Best gag: Just before the team leave the backwards Earth, the Cat nips into the bushes…

Episode 2: Marooned (21 November 1989): Red Dwarf is approaching five black holes, so the gang evacuate while Holly flies the ship through the cluster. Lister and Rimmer crash-land on a planet and are stranded without food or heat… Scintillating comedy. Stunning. It’s largely a two-handed playlet based on the twisted friendship of Lister and Rimmer. (The Cat, Kryten and Holly are absent for a 22-minute stretch of this 29-minute episode.)
Observations: Almost everything is set inside Starbug. There are no scenes set on Red Dwarf itself: a first. We also see Blue Midget. Why the gang don’t evacuate in the same shuttle is not addressed.
Best gag: *All of it.* Lister and Rimmer’s bewilderingly entertaining duologue covers Alexander the Great, the meaning of the word mayday, a tube of Bonjela gum ointment, dog food, Harold Pinter, William Shakespeare, virginity, a skateboard, the day Cliff Richard was shot, a Javanese camphor-wood trunk, a Bentley V8 convertible, the ninth hole of Bootle municipal golf course, page 61 of Lolita, Napoleon’s Armée du Nord, an authentic Les Paul copy guitar, She’s Out of My Life and the Last Post. Amazing stuff. Really well played and thoroughly hilarious.

Episode 3: Polymorph (28 November 1989): A genetically modified creature that can drain people of emotions boards the ship… Uproariously funny. There’s a great comedy prologue about Lister using medical supplies while cooking, then the plot kicks in and the episode freewheels along with joy and huge confidence.
Observations: At the start, a gravely voiced narrator warns viewers of scary content. The whole thing is a pastiche of Ridley Scott’s Alien (1979). Since series two, Lister and Rimmer have moved into posh officers’ quarters (well, you would, wouldn’t you?). At one point, Rimmer watches an old home movie, in which we see him as a child (played by Simon Gafney), his three brothers and his mum. The polymorph later takes the form of his mother (played by Kalli Greenwood). Frances Barber cameos when the polymorph poses as a sexy woman to entice the Cat into flirting. Kryten cites a Space Corps directive: not the last time we’ll hear a variation on that joke. He also uses a psi-scan for the first time: it’s a spoof of Star Trek’s tricorder device, and will become a regular source of exposition.
Best gag: There are three *enormous* contenders. The scene of the polymorph taking the form of Lister’s underpants, which he then puts on, is puerile visual comedy of the first rank. The boxers start to constrict, causing Lister agony. So Kryten – wearing a vacuum cleaner attachment on his groin – kneels between Lister’s legs and tries to yank the pants off. Rimmer walks in on them. “Well, I can’t say I’m totally shocked,” he says once the studio audience have stopped hyperventilating. “You’ll bonk anything, won’t you, Lister?!” Just as hilarious is the polymorph pretending to be Rimmer’s mum. It claims to have slept with Lister and goads Rimmer with descriptions of the act: “I honestly thought my false teeth were going to fall out…” Finally, Rimmer as a pacifist hipster after he’s lost all his anger is spectacularly funny.

Episode 4: Body Swap (5 December 1989): Rimmer convinces Lister to trade bodies with him for a time, ostensibly so he can get him fit… Giving Craig Charles and Chris Barrie the chance to play the other’s character is a fun idea. But sadly the practicalities muddy the humour somewhat. The proper actor still voices the character (Barrie dubs dialogue over Charles playing Rimmer, for example), which can be very distracting. You sense the actors having to awkwardly match their words to unfamiliar mouth movements, and it surely means that the audience laughter we hear is not genuine.
Observations: Starbug is featured again. As is another shuttle – it’s referred to as White Midget in dialogue, but the shot of it is of Blue Midget from series two. Rimmer also takes over the Cat’s body in the last scene, so Barrie and Danny John-Jules trade roles.
Best gag: Rimmer, in Lister’s body, pretends that he’s lost his arm in an accident. Lister is aghast. Rimmer: “It’s worse than that. I’ve lost your watch too.”

Episode 5: Timeslides (12 December 1989): Kryten discovers a mutated developing fluid, which prints photographs that allow you to travel in time… The plot makes very little sense, but never mind. Tremendous fun.
Observations: One of the photographs is from the wedding of Rimmer’s brother Frank (played by Chris Barrie). Comedian Mark Steel has a silent cameo as a skier. At one point Kryten suggests they go to Dallas in 1963, stand on the grassy knoll and shout, “Duck!” (a whole episode will be based on this joke in series seven). We meet Lister aged 17 (played by Craig Charles’s brother Emile). Ruby Wax (the wife of director Ed Bye) cameos as a TV reporter. Koo Stark plays Lady Sabrina Mulholland-Jjones, an attractive woman Lister marries in an alternative timeline. Simon Gafney plays a young Rimmer for the second time. It’s taken 17 episodes of Red Dwarf for scenes set on the actual, real, proper planet Earth… unless you count the backwards version from earlier in this series or the home-movie footage Rimmer watched in Polymorph. At the end of the story, thanks to timey-wimey nonsense, Rimmer is fully human again. But he soon accidentally kills himself.
Best gag: Rimmer, realising he’s now alive: “Kryten! Unpack Rachel and get out the puncture-repair kit!”

Episode 6: The Last Day (19 December 1989): A message reaches Red Dwarf that Kryten is at the end of his working life. A replacement is on its way to deactivate him… It’s a good idea to focus on Kryten, who’s settled into the team very nicely, but this is a relatively underwhelming episode.
Observations: Robert Llewellyn also plays a rep from the company that built Kryten. Gordon Kennedy plays Hudson 10, the replacement android. Lister reveals that he was abandoned as a baby in a pub – we’ll see that happen, and learn more of the context, in series seven.
Best gag: Kryten is told there’s no such place as Silicon Heaven. “Then where do all the calculators go?” (Hudson 10 repeats the same joke later on.)

Best episode: You’re a better man than me if you can separate Marooned and Polymorph. Worst episode: The Last Day.

Alternative version: The episodes were ‘remastered’ a few years later. Avoid at all costs. Much more fun is ‘Backwards Forwards’ – a DVD special feature that allows you to watch the episode Backwards playing in reverse. Among a number of treats, you can see what Arthur Smith is actually saying in his rant at Rimmer and Kryten. He’s ridiculing viewers who have bothered to watch the footage in the right order.

Review: This feels very different from the first 12 episodes. For example, giving Kryten stuff to do and involving the Cat a bit more means a more democratic approach to the storytelling. It’s not so much the Lister-and-Rimmer show now, reportedly a deliberate move because of a behind-the-scenes feud. (Having said that, episode two is basically one long scene between the pair.) There are other major changes too. A new high-tempo title sequence is made up of clips from the series and is scored by a rock-guitar instrumental version of the closing song. Sets, costumes and visual effects are all on a much higher level of professionalism. Everything’s more artfully lit, more polished and generally classier. Series two had been consistently funny and entertaining. This is even better.

Ten pistons in an ocean liner’s engine room out of 10

Red Dwarf: series two (1988)

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Spoiler warning: these reviews reveal plot twists.

Written by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor. Directed by Ed Bye. Broadcast on BBC2.

Regulars: The same line-up as series one. Holly’s face is no longer pixellated.

Episode 1: Kryten (6 September 1988): For the first time we meet a character from outside Red Dwarf itself. They crew find an android called Kryten (David Ross), who’s living on a crashed space ship. Although he takes a while to accept the fact, his crew died a very long time ago… A consistently funny episode that hits the ground running. There’s a real confidence on show now. David Ross is good fun as the subservient, earnest Kryten.
Observations: The episode starts with a clip from a futuristic soap opera about robots called Androids. The theme tune is very Neighboursy, while Tony Slattery voices one of the characters. We see the gang’s shuttle, Blue Midget, for the first time.
Best gag: Lister, Rimmer and the Cat travel to Kryten’s ship, thinking it contains three attractive female officers. But when they arrive they learn that the women are just skeletons. Kryten – who’s deluded and thinks the girls are still alive – returns from making some tea, and Rimmer points out that the crew has died. Kryten: “My God, I was only away two minutes.”

Episode 2: Better Than Life (13 September 1988): This entertaining episode has some nice character stuff for Rimmer, who learns that his father has died. He then has to confront his bullying dad in a virtual-reality computer game the gang are playing called Better Than Life… The information about Rimmer’s childhood goes a long way to justifying why he’s such a prat.
Observations: This episode, the show’s eighth, is the first to include scenes set outdoors – albeit in a VR simulation. The production team filmed on a beach, a golf course and surrounding areas. Tony Hawks gets another role and appears on screen this time: he plays a character within the Better Than Life game. A fantasy version of Yvonne McGruder, a crewmember mentioned in series one, is played by Judy Hawkins. Rimmer’s dad is played by John Abineri. Ron Pember appears as a tax collector.
Best gag: Learning that Casablanca has been remade, Lister is outraged. “The one starring Myra Binglebat and Peter Beardsley was definitive!”

Episode 3: Thanks for the Memory (20 September 1988): Feeling sorry for Rimmer’s inadequate life, Lister decides to give him some fake memories of an exciting romance… This is a tremendous little mystery story, effectively told in flashbacks. It’s really funny and there’s no fat on it anywhere. (They never explain how Lister and the Cat wipe their own memories, however!)
Observations: Because he’s a hologram powered by the ship, when we see Rimmer on the surface of a moon he has to stand in a ‘hologramatic projection booth’ – that idea will get dropped! Blue Midget features again.
Best gag: Rimmer’s drunken confession about his only sexual experience: “Yvonne McGruder. A single, brief liaison with the ship’s female boxing champion. March the 16th. 7.31pm to 7.43pm. Twelve minutes. And that includes the time it took to eat the pizza.”

Episode 4: Stasis Leak (27 September 1988): The gang find a wormhole that allows them to travel to March 2077 – ie, three weeks before the accident that killed the crew… A fantastically structured and paced episode that both uses and mocks time-travel clichés. It ends with a surreal scene featuring three Listers, three Rimmers, the Cat and Kochanski.
Observations: The episode starts with a black-and-white flashback to 2077. In this scene – and later on when the regulars time-travel – Captain Hollister returns from series one. Kochanski and Petersen also appear. Morwenna Banks cameos as a lift stewardess. Tony Hawks voices a talking suitcase.
Best gag: The Cat repeating “What is it?” as Lister and Rimmer try to explain the stasis leak.

Episode 5: Queeg (4 October 1988): Holly’s inept management of the ship results in a back-up computer, Queeg 500, taking over. He soon puts Lister, Rimmer and the Cat through gruelling exercise drills and on meagre rations… A nice ‘bottle’ episode with a phenomenal punchline. In fact, the whole thing is a lead-up to the big woofer waiting at the end.
Observations: Charles Augins plays Queeg. It’s specified that it’s been 14 months since Lister came out of stasis. A scene where Rimmer is affected by a virus and repeats other characters’ dialogue gives Chris Barrie a chance to show off his impersonation skills.
Best gag: Holly reveals that he was pretending to be Queeg all along. “We’re talking jape of the decade. We are talking April, May, June, July *and* August fool.”

Episode 6: Parallel Universe (11 October 1988): An okay episode in which the gang travel to an alternative reality and meet other versions of themselves. Lister sleeps with his equivalent and ends up pregnant… It has some good moments, but it’s a bit one-note.
Observations: There’s no title sequence or intro from Holly. Instead we launch right into an elaborate dream sequence of the Cat’s: him, Lister, Rimmer, Holly and some sexy women performing a 1960s-ish LE song-and-dance routine on a gaudily lit stage. (The track, Tongue Tied, was later released as a Red Dwarf-branded single. It reached number 17 in October 1993.) Hattie Hayridge makes her Red Dwarf debut playing Hilly, the computer in the alternate reality. The other corresponding characters are played by Angela Bruce (as Deb Lister), Suzanne Bertish (Arlene Rimmer) and Matthew Devitt (Dog). Bruce and Bertish are very good.
Best gag: The fact that Lister would one day fall pregnant was seeded in series one. Rimmer takes great delight in reminding Lister about it, and is then gleeful when he remembers that childbirth is agony.

Best episode: Thanks For The Memory. Worst episode: Parallel Universe.

Alternative version: As with series one, all of series two was ‘remastered’ for a VHS release in the 1990s. The results were ghastly.

Review: The writers have clearly decided to break their self-imposed rule about the show being contained on the ship. Things are now opened up massively – four episodes feature the characters leaving Red Dwarf, another sees them travel through time – and there’s even some location filming. Holly also gets more to do and his solo spots (a riff on decimalising music, for example) are always really funny. These changes are a huge help. The whole run has more zip, more bite to it, than series one. Lister and Rimmer are still the leads, and Craig Charles and Chris Barrie are again superb – even though behind the scenes the actors weren’t getting on. (As well as a personality clash, Charles was unhappy with the fact Barrie was on more money.) There are no ‘difficult second album’ issues here: this set of episodes is more ambitious, more polished and generally funnier.

Nine triple-fried-egg butties with chili sauce and chutney out of 10

Red Dwarf: series one (1988)

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Spoiler warning: these reviews reveal plot twists.

Written by Rob Grant & Doug Naylor. Directed by Ed Bye. Broadcast on BBC2.

Regulars: The line-up in series one of this sci-fi sitcom has a definite hierarchy about it. At the top are two lead characters: Dave Lister (played by Craig Charles) and Arnold J Rimmer (Chris Barrie). At the start of episode one they’re crewmembers on board a space mining ship called Red Dwarf. The officious, arrogant and buffoonish Rimmer is boss to the slobby, lazy and happy-go-lucky Lister. After being caught with an illegal pet cat, Lister is put into suspended animation as punishment so survives a nuclear accident that kills the rest of the crew. Three million years later, Red Dwarf has drifted into deep space. Lister is awoken by the ship’s AI computer, the deadpan and befuddled Holly (a floating head seen on monitors, played by Norman Lovett). Holly then resurrects Rimmer as a lifelike hologram. And they find a strange creature called Cat (Danny John-Jules), who – after three million years of evolution – is descended from Lister’s pet moggy. The series is based on the bickering relationship of Lister and Rimmer. The Cat and Holly are sidekicks who drift in and out of episodes.

Episode 1: The End (15 February 1988): A decent start to the series, which tells the story of the accident that kills most of the ship’s crew. Around two-thirds of it is set before the explosion, in fact. There’s some economic plotting and a few funny lines. Chris Barrie and Craig Charles impress straightaway with a great chemistry. You want to spend time with these people.
Observations: The guest cast include a few characters who – though killed off here – will crop up in later episodes: Mac McDonald as Hollister, the ship’s American captain; Clare Grogan as Kristine Kochanski, a very pretty flight technician who Lister really fancies; and Mark Williams, Paul Bradley and David Gillespie as Lister’s crude pals Petersen, Chen and Selby. An actress called Alexandra Pigg was originally cast as Kochanski, but a strike delayed the filming of this episode and she had to be replaced. Grogan, of course, was the lead singer in Altered Images.
Best gag: Holly’s replies when Lister’s asking what’s happened to the crew: “They’re dead, Dave… Everybody, Dave… Everybody’s dead, Dave… Everybody’s dead, Dave… They’re all dead. Everybody’s dead, Dave… Everybody is dead, Dave… Gordon Bennett, yes, Chen, everybody. Everybody’s dead, Dave… He’s dead, Dave. Everybody is dead. Everybody is dead, Dave.”

Episode 2: Future Echoes (22 February 1988): A very entertaining sci-fi concept that could have come from an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation – the ship passes the speed of light, so time is affected and the crew experience weirdness. It’s still focused on the characterisation of and dialogue between the two leads, though. Very funny.
Observations: From now on, Holly begins each episode with a short précis of the situation then a unique joke. There are flash-forwards to Lister aged 171 and then him as a younger man holding his twin sons, Jim and Bexley (a gag not completed until the end of series two). Comedian Tony Hawks has his first of many roles in the series: voicing a vending machine. It’s also the first appearance of the ship’s sentient toaster (voiced by John Lenahan).
Best gag: The scene where Lister has a conversation with Rimmer that makes no sense at all. Rimmer’s replies bare no relation to what Lister’s saying. Then, after Rimmer walks off, a second Rimmer comes in and says the exact same dialogue as before – but this time it matches Lister’s side of the conversation.

Episode 3: Balance of Power (29 February 1988): Another good one in which Lister takes a chef’s exam in an attempt to outrank Rimmer.
Observations: We finally get an explanation of why Rimmer, of all people, was resurrected by Holly: by giving Lister an antagonist, Holly hopes to keep him sane. There’s a flashback to before the accident that features Petersen, Chen, Selby and Kochanski. Clare Grogan also plays Rimmer, in effect, when he pretends to be Kochanski. Sadly, Grogan’s pretty ropey in the scene. At the end of the episode Lister is promoted above Rimmer.
Best gag: Despite the performance, Rimmer pretending to be Kochanski has some great lines: “I’m having a woman’s period!” he says as a desperate explanation for Kochanski’s strange behaviour.

Episode 4: Waiting For God (7 March 1988): The first poor episode, with a dull, simple storyline. Lister learns about the religion based on him that built up in his absence, then meets a cat priest who’s been living on the ship. The priest is played by a shaky Noel Coleman. The subplot about a pod found in space is much more fun. It’s the series’s first specific pastiche of 1979’s Alien (Rimmer thinks it will contain aliens who will clasp themselves to your face).
Observations: Holly’s introduction tells us that Lister was only lying about his promotion in the previous episode. Talkie Toaster appears again.
Best gag: Rimmer’s zealous conviction that the pod contains aliens. He’s even decided which aliens: “Quagaars! It’s a name I made up. Double A actually!”

Episode 5: Confidence and Paranoia (14 March 1988): It’s a decent idea, but the episode falls a bit flat for some reason. A radiation leak causes some strange happenings, including Lister’s confidence and paranoia being manifested as separate men. Craig Ferguson plays the former; Lee Cornes the latter.
Observations: Rimmer practices his ridiculously elaborate salute for the first time.
Best gag: The punchline that sees two Rimmers on board the ship.

Episode 6: Me2 (21 March 1988): Good stuff. At the end of episode five, Lister was tricked into creating a second hologramatic Rimmer. Now that there are two Arnolds, they choose to move in together. However, they quickly rub each up the wrong way… The humour comes from a) Lister and Rimmer kinda missing each other, and b) the fact that even Rimmer can’t cope when trapped with himself. The split-screen shots of two Rimmers are done well, and Chris Barrie carries a huge amount of the comedy. A superb performance.
Observations: Captain Hollister appears in a flashback set right before the accident. Tony Hawks voices a cinema advert.
Best gag: Rimmer’s self-recorded video tribute to himself. It goes on a bit, so Lister fast-forwards and stops at a random point. Rimmer is saying: “…if you put Napoleon in quarters with Lister, he’d still be in Corsica peeling spuds.” (Also worth mentioning is Holly’s joke about sausages and Norweb.)

Best episode: Future Echoes. Worst episode: Waiting For God.

Alternative version: In the 1990s, this series was ‘remastered’ by writers/producers Rob Grant and Doug Naylor. It was an attempt to do for early Red Dwarf episodes what George Lucas was then trying to do with the Star Wars trilogy – ie, upgrade it and make it seem more modern. The title sequence was replaced with a fast-paced montage, CGI effects were crudely added, some scenes were trimmed, Norman Lovett recorded new material as Holly, the episodes were filmised and the frame was cropped into widescreen… The result was terrible and has thankfully been mostly forgotten.

Review: Compared with what’s to come, this first series certainly feels small-scale. Aside from the lovely model shots of Red Dwarf itself, we never leave the interior of the ship; the cast never leave the TV studios. A remarkably slow and oomph-less title sequence doesn’t help. Neither do some really cheap-looking sets – the ship is mostly grey and boring and drab and bargain-bin. It’s not slick television. Fortunately, the comedy (the important bit) is tremendous. For example, Chris Barrie *shines*. He’s on the money right from the word go, instantly hilarious and committed to the role. Rimmer is a monster with many, many unlikable traits… Yet you miss him when he’s not on screen and actually feel sympathy for him. Craig Charles is a lot looser as Lister, but charismatic and with a genuine likeability. The series is built on scenes of these two bickering and it’s never boring. We even ignore the fudging that sees two men who despise each other choose to share a bunkroom. Away from the big two, the Cat breezes in and out of scenes, mostly unconcerned with the episode’s events, while Holly doesn’t feature too much. All four characters are very funny, which makes the occasionally muted laughter from the studio audience difficult to fathom. Some good gags actually go unnoticed.

Seven complete and total tits out of 10